Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The day gets closer yet further away.

I am a worrier by nature which is not good when you are pregnant.  I think about where the seatbelt is positioned on my ever expanding waistline, I worry about the dog jumping up on me and bumping my stomach.  I worry about my husband driving two hours away when I could have the baby soon.  Worry worry worry.  It is my nature. 

Last week I headed to my 38 week appointment with another new doctor at the practice.  I really didn't care that I was meeting a doctor that I hadn't met before because - I'm having a c section with a doctor I know. Next week even! The visit started as usual, weight (just don't even look at the scale anymore, seriously), pee, strip from the waist down.  After I plopped my white pasty butt down on the table and delicately ripped the "sheet" as I attempted to tuck it around my arse the doctor came in.  I kept thinking about how my behemoth rear was peaking out the back and attempted to pull my shirt down just a little further.

The doctor started in on the regular details of my urine looking good, my blood pressure has started to go back down a bit, etc.  Then she said that she saw that my version was successful.  I looked at her like she had lost her marbles.  Lady, I didn't even try for a version because I don't have enough fluid, baby is too far down in my body to try to turn, etc. I thought that since we had the consultation, perhaps that is why she thought it was successful.  Oh well, chalk it up to poor record keeping.

Then I asked her if it was possible to learn the time that the c-section would be occurring on the 16th since my MIL is coming in from 9 hours away and we would like to do a little planning.  She then seemed to have a slap her head kind of moment like DOH!  Somehow they overbooked the cesareans for that day and lucky me I was the one to be bumped. Um, say what now?  But no worries, we can move it to the next week with Dr. X, Dr. X or Dr. X.  Fan freaking tastic but I have never met any of those doctors and I had plans dearie.  Plans, you hear me? 

I was already flustered a bit from explaining to her that I did not have a successful version and then she tells me that they are changing the date of the Cesarean.  In reality, not a big deal but it was the fact that they waited a week and a half after my appointment where the Cesarean was scheduled to let me know.  A week and a half after we started making all kinds of plans - like people coming in from nine hours away kind of plans.  I was equal parts mad and upset.  I didn't want to be at this appointment by myself picking a random date without my husband there. 

So I cried a little and she told me that we could head down and meet the one doctor that was there and we would schedule the Cesarean for that doctor.  Better than nothing I suppose. But first, let's check on that baby.  She started the doppler on my stomach and for a while had a little frownie on her face and moved the doppler around a bit. Since I was already flustered and worrisome, the time that it took her to wander around my stomach and find the quiet heartbeat were agonizing.  I was there on the table by myself thinking the worst thoughts possible.

Everything was okay in the end.  I am meeting the new c-section doctor this week and once next week the day before the surgery.  I chose the new date without my husband there.  I heard the quiet heartbeat.  But I still went to my car and cried. 

My heart has been so heavy lately thinking of Janet. I think about Baby Miller so often.  I can't imagine the pain and aching in their family right now and it makes me feel as though my little worries of what date to tell my mother in law for the c-section is ridiculous.  My little worries are just that - little worries.  I think about the true devastation that a young family is feeling right now and ache to take some of it away with my simple words and thoughts.  But I can't.  So instead, I send my love and thoughts their direction 100 times each day.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Doctor makes a difference

Since Dr. Google had freaked me out about not only having a breech baby but also c-sections in general, I was nervous going in to my follow up appointment. The option of turning the baby also produced some general gloom and doom like feelings as well. 

It is interesting how various people and websites will make you feel like a cesarian is the wrong choice no matter what. That you should of course try to turn the baby. That c-sections are for pansies who simply don't want the joy of ripping their goods. It's funny how people have opinions about your situation before they know the whole story. 

I was able to schedule my follow up appointment with one of my favorite doctor's at the practice.  The practice encourages a consultation about turning the baby and trying for a vaginal birth before they will schedule a c-section.  The one good part about this is that you get an unplanned ultrasound. Ultrasounds are like money when it comes to a pregnancy.  Pregnant ladies want to "see" the baby as many times as possible via ultrasound. After hearing about the options and learning about how they try to turn the baby but are prepared to deliver the baby immediately if there are issues, we headed for a visit with the ultrasound tech. 

The tech was pretty quick but explained what we were seeing and what she was looking for.  When considering turning a baby, there has to be enough fluid around the baby.  Think about it like a water balloon with a toy inside it.  If there is lots of water, the toy turns easier.  Not lots of water, not lots of turning. They also look for the placement of the placenta and to see how far down into the pelvis the baby is.  Those are the three biggest factors when determining if you are a candidate for the old baby spinnaroo. 

The tech first verified that the baby was still breech and what type of breech position.  He is considered frank breech, which sounds miserably uncomfortable to me. His head and feet are both at the top.  Basically he is sitting in a v shape.  Secondly, she started measuring the amount of fluid surrounding the baby.  The standard cutoff for fluid needed is 15.  I am at 11.  Phewwy. Then finally, she checked to see how far down the baby was. Once she got pretty far down in to my pelvis she stated that he was so far down she wasn't even able to go further with the ultrasound machine and get an accurate reading.  Phewwy number two.

The one good part of an ultrasound at this point is that she quickly pointed out a few things that were easily visible like the ribs and spine.  She made the comment of - oh my goodness- which is nothing you want to hear at any baby related appointment. But then laughed and said that she could tell us that the baby has a lot of hair on the back of his head. He may be sporting a mullet - which would be awesome in it's own way - but there is for sure a lot of hair. The way he is squeezed in there didn't let her see the front of his head, though I am guessing there is a lot of hair there as well. Not a surprise if you have seen the amount of hair on my husband's head.

We headed back to chat with the doctor and while she told us it was entirely up to us in regards to a c-section versus trying to turn the baby, it seemed fairly obvious to us that the baby would not be easy to turn.  She made me feel better about having a c-section by saying that she had the same situation with her oldest and then later had a VBAC with her second.  It is amazing what bedside manner can do to a nervous patient.

With all of that done, she broke out the calendar and we literally sat there and picked the date for our baby to be born.  It was slightly unreal and crazy to think that we picked his birthday.  Now if only we could pick his name.